Very Funny Jokes

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Friday, October 24, 2014

Experimenting

George said to his hot date, "Do you want to experiment with unnatural love-making? How about me putting it in the other opening?"

Sharon said, "What?? I would never let anyone stick it in my back passage unless I an drunk and not in my senses."

George said quickly, "Okay. You can find the scotch in the pantry."

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Cindy and Kathy

Cindy and Kathy, both residing in an old age home, we taking a walk in the park when they suddenly saw an old guy running, without any clothes on.

Cindy said to Kathy, "I don't have my glasses on. Did you see what that guy was wearing?"

Kathy replied, "I didn't, but whatever it was, it needs ironing!"

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

In common

Jason, a little high at the singles bar, grabbed the mile and said, "Well fellows, who will tell me what is that one thing which we share in common?"

There was silence.

Jason announced, "We are all married."

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Nevermind

Dr. Williams was sleeping soundly when the sound of the phone ringing roused him from his deep slumber. He picked up the phone and growled, "Who is this?"

It was Katie, a young mother, who pleaded on the phone, "We need you to come over urgently. My kid has swallowed a contracptve."

Dr Williams mumbled, "Okay, I am on my way."

While he was getting dressed, he got another call from Katie. "Doc", she said sounding calm, "Nevermind. My hubby found another one."

Monday, October 20, 2014

Arithmetic assignment

Mrs. Griffith, the Maths teacher discovered that little Harry had not done his homework. She scolded him, "Where is your Arithmetic assignment?"

Little Harry replied, "Miss it had too many problems, so it took its own life!"

Friday, October 17, 2014

Cause for concern

Bobby goes to see his psychiatrist Dr. Smith and says to him, "Doc, I am getting a terrible dream time and again."

Dr. Smith asks him, "What do you see in your dream?"

Booby replies, "I see myself as a sadist, necrophilic and beastialist. Is it cause for concern or am I beating a dead horse?"

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Molestation charges

Danny asked his lawyer friend, "How did that old tycoon get acquitted of molestation charges?"

The lawyer friend replied, "Huh, the evidence refused to stand up in court!"