Very Funny Jokes

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Thursday, October 30, 2014

Teen's concerns

Molly was entering her teens and her mother Becky was concerned, as all mothers of teenagers are.

One day Becky decided that she needed to talk to her daughter about growing up, so she began, "Molly, I wanted to have a little chat with you about how humans have babies. You know when a woman has a baby in her womb...."

Molly interrupted her, "Wait a minute, Mom, though it sounds interesting coming from you...what I really wanna know is how to fake a climax."

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

No bananas

When Joseph made a small mathematical error in his MIS report, his boss Mr. Jones did not miss the opportunity to demean him in front of his colleagues. Mr. Jones said to Joseph in an angry tone,"If you had 4 bananas, and I asked you to give me 2, how many would you be left with?"

Without hesitation, Joseph replied, "If YOU had asked, I would still be left with 4 bananas."

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Not me, I am married

I was a little high that night. I was walking down the street when a lady of the the night suddenly confronted me and said, "Hello darling. Interested in some oral? Only $100."

"Not me", I said, "I am married."

The woman said, "How does it matter?"

I replied, "It matters. My wife will do it for only $50."

Monday, October 27, 2014

Grey hair

Little Susan asked her father, "Daddy, why has some of your hair turned grey?"

Harry replied, "Whenever you are disobedient, one of my hair turns grey."

Little Susan said, "Oh, no wonder grandma's hair is all grey."

Friday, October 24, 2014

Experimenting

George said to his hot date, "Do you want to experiment with unnatural love-making? How about me putting it in the other opening?"

Sharon said, "What?? I would never let anyone stick it in my back passage unless I an drunk and not in my senses."

George said quickly, "Okay. You can find the scotch in the pantry."

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Cindy and Kathy

Cindy and Kathy, both residing in an old age home, we taking a walk in the park when they suddenly saw an old guy running, without any clothes on.

Cindy said to Kathy, "I don't have my glasses on. Did you see what that guy was wearing?"

Kathy replied, "I didn't, but whatever it was, it needs ironing!"

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

In common

Jason, a little high at the singles bar, grabbed the mile and said, "Well fellows, who will tell me what is that one thing which we share in common?"

There was silence.

Jason announced, "We are all married."