Very Funny Jokes

very funny jokes Welcome to Very Funny Jokes blog-Your blog for Good jokes, Short funny jokes & Jokes on Life.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Graveyard adventure

Andy and Wendy were both adventure junkies. So, on their wedding night, they decided to do something different. They went to a very old and historic graveyard to consummate their marriage. Thrilled and excited about doing it in a place like this, they had a good time.

The next morning, Wendy complained of severe backache and Andy took her to a doctor. The doctor asked her to take off her clothes so he could give her a thorough examination.

Once done, the doctor asked Wendy, "What is your age?"

"I am 31, but why did you ask?" replied Wendy.

The good doctor replied with an amused expression, "Your bum says you died in 1820!"

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

A career in the city

Old Mrs. Arnfield living in the countryside in Essex, got a letter from Kate, her granddaughter. Kate had left the village and gone to Tilbury to pursue a career. Not understanding anything written in the letter, Mrs. Arnfield ashed her husband, "Kate's got a job, she says she works for a..er...message parlour. What is a message parlour?"

Mr. Arnfield said, "Guess these city people leave messages there for family and friends. Did Kate say how much are they paying her?"

Mrs. Arnfield replied, "That part is most confusing. She writes she gets paid 25 Pounds for a hand-delivered message and 50 pounds if she blows it to them."

Monday, September 29, 2014

Talking Monk Parakeet

Three friends - Amy, Julie and Renie were walking to the club for a swim. They saw a Monk Parakeet perched on the open window of a house. The bird screeched, "Black, blue, green."

The friends couldn't make anything of it and continued to walk.

Next day, when the three of them were again going to the club, they passed the same building with the same parakeet. It screeched, "Red, yellow, blue."

The day after, the parakeet commented, "Orange, black, grey."

In the changing room that day, Julie suddenly noticed that the colors mentioned by the parakeet exactly matched the color of the undergarments they were wearing.

She mentioned it to her friends, and they decided to test the parakeet. They all wore white underwear the next day and when they passed the house, the bird screeched,

"White, white, white!"

They were absolutely amazed by the parakeet's ability to tell the color of their undergarments.

To trick the parakeet, they decided not to wear any undergarments the next day. When they passed the house, the parakeet seemed to be perplexed, it nodded its head

from left to right and then from right to left, and commented, "Straight, curly, shaved!"

Friday, September 26, 2014

Aerosmith concert

Two college, Dan and Rob, kids were talking about the Aerosmith concert in Bombay.

Dan asked Rob, "Would you be going to the concert?"

Rob replied, "Do you think I am out of my mind? My parents will be there!!"

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Dog stories

Leo, Buzo and Bonnie are three canines who meet at the veterinarian's clinic.

They start chatting in doggy language. Leo tells the other two dogs, "Woof! I bit a vagabond in the park. I hope my master has brought me here for vaccination and does not want to put me to rest."

Buzo says to the others, "Woof! I jumped in the house and broke an ancient Chinese vase. My master was mad at me. I hope he is not thinking of getting rid of me."

"So what are you here for" they ask the third dog.

Bonnie replies, "The woman who owns me was doing some house work wearing a short dress. When she bent over, I found she wasn't wearing anything underneath. I climbed her and had a good time!"

"Oh!", Leo exclaims, "You are sure to be put to rest."

Bonnie says, "Woof! Nah! I am here to get a shampoo and bath."

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Allowance

 Poor Archie who was always short on pocket money, sent a bouquet of red roses to his girlfriend, Betty after they had a fight. The bouquet had a card attached to it which read, "With all my love and 80% of my pocket allowance."

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

No fizz

Gina and Sara were college buddies who had lost track of each other. It was by luck that they crossed each others path after about 8 years. They began chatting about old days in college. Sara asked Gina, "How is your love life dear?"

Gina replied, "Same as Coke!"

Sara said, "You mean full of fizz?"

Gina replied, "Hardly. First it was 'regular'. Then it became 'light'. Now it is 'zero'."