Very Funny Jokes

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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The tabla player

Surjan Singh, a tabla (Indian drum) player came home after performing in a concert in another city.When he entered his town, he saw a cloud of smoke at a distance. He kept walking towards the smoke,as it was in the direction of his house. As he approached closer, his worst fears came true. It was his own house on fire.

There were policemen and firefighters all over the place. An officer asked him, "Are you the owner of this house?"

"Y-yes" muttered Surjan.

The officer said to him, "Your conductor had come to your home. He broke the furniture, molested your wife, beat your son, strangled your dog, took away your money & jewellery, and set the house on wire."

The tabla player's eyes lit up and he nodded his head in disbelief. "The conductor! He came to my home?"

Monday, August 18, 2014

I can see it

Jason says to his wife Leena, "You know I am happy to meet your friend Anita."

Leena says, "I know. I can see it through your pants!"

Friday, August 15, 2014

Home early

Maria was happy to see her husband Ken come home early.

"Darling", said Maria,"How come you are home early? Plan to take me out for dinner or do you have some other surprise?"

Ken replied, "Neither. Only following the boss's instructions. He asked me to go to hell."

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Lazy son

I was mad at my 12 year old son for shirking his early morning jog. When I caught him resting on a bench instead of jogging, I commented, "At your age, I thought nothing of a 5 km jog."

"Huh, Dad", replied my son, "I don't think much of it either."

Monday, August 11, 2014

Tried & trusted

Roger Kroner, a business tycoon, walks into a financial institution and says to the pretty receptionist, "I would like to have a word with Mr. Ben Moore, who I believe is a tried and trusted member of this organization."

The receptionist, fixing her make-up, replies, "He sure was trusted. And he will definitely be tried once our legal dept catches him!"

Friday, August 08, 2014

Smell that?

Goran says to Lydia, "Sweetheart, do u smell that?

Lydia says, "No, nothing."

Goran says, "You are right. Neither do I. Start cooking."

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Shrinking trousers

Gary is a young boy of 18, who is learning the dressmaker's business at his father's well known store.
He is discussing a range of polycotton fine trousers with a customer, when he approaches his father. "Dad", he says, "This customer has tried our entire range of exclusive unshrinkable trousers. He wants to know if the trousers will shrink."

Gary's father asks him, "Does he fit into it?"

Gary says, "To tell you the truth, they seem to be big for him."

Gary's father advices, "Fine then, tell him it will shrink."