Very Funny Jokes

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Thursday, March 12, 2015

Arts class homework

Art teacher : Show me your homework.

Titu : I am sorry but my dog feasted on it.

Art teacher : What? Wasn't your homework an abstract art to be made of pins & needles?

Titu : It was sir. My dog is in the hospital.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015


The country bum visited the gynac with his daughter.

There was a long queue in the clinic. Finally, they were called inside the doctor's cabin.

The gynac asked, "Well, what is the problem?"

The country bum replied, "Need to put her on birth control."

The gynac asked, "Is she active with the boys?"

The country bum replied, "Nah! She just lays there same way her mother does."

Monday, March 09, 2015

Newly weds argument

They were newly weds. While Tom wanted just one child, Tina wanted two children. There was a heated argument, and Tom decided to put an end to it. He said to Tina, "After we have our first child, I will get myself sterilized."

Tina was quick to fire back, "That's all right. I hope you will love the second one like your own."

Friday, March 06, 2015

Help with mathematics

Mr.Runwal wanted some clarifications in an Invoice that was given to him. He asked his secretary, Lily for help.
He said to her, "If I give you 45000 dollars less 12.36% service tax, how much would you take off?"

Lily promptly replied, "Everything but my necklace."

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Unique name

Rita bought a racehorse and named him Myface.

Her friend Dolly commented, "Isn't that a strange name for a horse? What are you going to do with him?"

Rita replied, "He is one of the fastest horses in the circuit. But I have not bought him for his speed. I don't mind if he does not win any races."

Dolly was very confused and asked, "Then what have you bought him for?"

Rita replied, "I will get utmost satisfaction when I hear those posh snobbish women scream, "Come on, Myface!"

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Some comparison that!

Rosy said to her husband Dave, "You know sweetheart, you are like a lawn-mower?"

Dave said, "Now where did that come from? What do you mean?"

Rosy replied, "It's difficult to get you started, you release stinking odors, and you don't work most of the times."

Monday, February 02, 2015

Guys and dogs

Laurel : Why do we guys chase girls we do not plan to marry?

Hardy : The explanation is the same as dogs chasing cars which they don't intend to drive.