Very Funny Jokes

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Friday, November 21, 2014

Knocked flat

Jack was walking on a footpath when he stepped off it and into the road, without looking left or right. He was immediately knocked flat by a cyclist.

The burly cyclist said to Jack, "You are one hell of a lucky guy."

Jack, who hadn't yet picked himself up, yelled, "What do you mean? You crashed into me and it really hurt!"

The cyclist said, "I normally drive a truck."

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Watch out for worms!

Bob and Rick were having mangoes during their lunch break in school.

Bob said to Rick, "My mom always tells me watch out for worms in the mangoes."

Rick said, "I don't care. They can watch out for themselves."

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Social worker

Meena was a social worker who was involved in a lot of reform work.

During her research on girls working in massage parlours in Thailand, he came across a girl called Lily involved in that particular profession.

Meena asked Lily, "Why did you choose this particular profession?"

Lily replied, "I am neck deep in debt. I have borrowed from this gangster called Paul. Now I am rubbing peters to pay Paul."

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Quest of a man

Aaron was seated in front of his psychiatrist. Dr. Hans asked him, "Tell me Aaron, what do you look for in a girl?"

Aaron replied, "Huge assets."

Dr. Hans asked, "You are not getting me. When you are serious about a relationship, what do you look for in a girl?"

Aaron replied, "I seriously look for huge assets."

Dr. Hans said, "I don't think you are getting me, Aaron. What is it that you aspire in your quest for that one girl with whom you want to spend the rest of your life?"

Aaron said, "You mean the rest of my life? No girl's assets are THAT huge!"

Monday, November 17, 2014

New red bicycle

Harry, the village idiot, was leading his herd of sheep to graze when he noticed Dustin, another idiot, riding on a brand new red bicycle.

Intrigued, Harry asked, "Hey, where did you find such a lovely cycle?"

Dustin said, "You won't believe what happened yesterday. I was on my way home from the town fair, when this gorgeous girl rode up to me on her bicycle. She stopped, got off the bicycle and beckoned me to the paddy fields. She then removed all her clothes and asked me to take whatever I wanted."

Harry smiled and said, "Good choice. You would not have looked nice in girls clothing anyways."

Friday, November 14, 2014

Merry scooter ride

Joshua was riding merrily on his scooter when he was stopped by a motorcycle cop.

Joshua asked, "Did I do something wrong?"

The cop said, "Guess you did not notice but your wife fell off the scooter at the last bend."

"Oh...did she?", said a relieved Joshua "I almost thought I had lost my hearing."

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Nasty habit

John said to his friend, "I am fed up with my labrador. He has this nasty habit of chasing people on a bicycle."

His friend Joe said,"Well, that could be a lot of trouble for you. What are you gonna do about it?"

John replied, "The only solution I see is to take away his bicycle."