Adult jokes-Leave

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
'What's the matter?' he asks.
'I have a case of anal glaucoma,' she says in a weak voice.
'What the hell is anal glaucoma?'
'I can't see my ass coming into work today.'

Humor jokes-Two Scottish nuns

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart.
"Two dogs, please," says one.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.
Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'
The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Funny toons-Great idea to scare the pests

Really funny jokes-Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Frustrated Wife

Dear Frustrated Wife:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Check that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum lines around the intake manifold. Perhaps the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter

Blonde jokes-Arrow

Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.

Short adult jokes-Crazy

MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."

Love poem

Women's Love Poem
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Mens Love Poem
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Humor jokes-Mexico Drops Out Of 2008 Summer Olympics

President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the Beijing Summer Olympics.
He stated: 'Casi cada uno que puede correr, saltar, o la nadar ya ha salido del pais.'
Translation:
'Pretty much everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country.

Short humor jokes-Adam & Eve

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Good jokes-Wishful Thinking

For a while my husband and I had opposite schedules. He worked during the day, and I worked at night. One morning I noticed he had left a note to himself on the kitchen counter that read, "STAMPS!"
As a helpful surprise, I bought him some at the post office and put them on the counter before going to work.
The next morning I found the same note. The word "STAMPS!" was crossed out. Underneath it he had written,
"ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"

Adult jokes-Not doing anything

"Hey! This looks like a great meal! I knew my Bobby was lucky to have such a beautiful wife," said Ray, "but I didn't know you were a fantastic cook as well."
"I feel I should warn you, Ray," she simpered, "that I expect my husband home in an hour."
"But I'm not doing anything." he protested.
"I know," she sighed. "I just wanted to let you know how much time you had."

Short humor jokes-Vanity Plates

Vanity Plates seen on a Mercedes Benz in California:
WAS HIS

Really funny jokes-Deprived

"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But my son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."
"So what do you do?" asked his friend.
"I send him to MY room!"

Funny pictures-Focus

Short adult jokes-Old

Q. Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
A. Their shaky hands!

Office Humor jokes-Total Eclipse of Communication

From : Managing Director
To : Executive Director
"Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o'clock. This is something which we cannot see everyday, so let the work-force line up outside, in their best clothes to watch it.To mark the occasion of this rare occurrence, I will personally explain the phenomenon to them. If it is raining we will not be able to see it very well and in that case the work force should assemble in the canteen."

From : Executive Director
To : Departmental Head
"By order of the Managing Director, there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o' clock tomorrow morning. If it is raining we will not be able to see it in our best clothes, on the site. In this case the disappearance of the sun will be followed through in the canteen. This is something we cannot see happening everyday."

From : Departmental Heads
To : Sectional Heads
"By order of the Managing Director, we shall follow the disappearance of the sun in our best clothes, in the canteen at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. The Managing Director will tell us whether it is going to rain. This is something which we cannot see happen everyday."

From : Section Heads
To : Foreman
"If it is raining in the canteen tomorrow morning, which is something that we cannot see happen everyday, the Managing Director in his best clothes, will disappear at nine o' clock."

From : Foreman
To : All Operators
"Tomorrow morning at nine o' clock, the Managing Director will disappear. It's a pity that we can't see this happen everyday."

Humor jokes-Golf

On a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, Morris stood on the first tee at his country club. He had just pulled out his driver when a young woman in a wedding gown came running up to him, crying.
"You bastard!" she screamed in his face. "You lousy no-good rotten damn stinking bastard!"
"What's your problem Sherry ?" he calmly replied. "I distinctly told you only if it rained."

Good jokes-Bill

Senators William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church bells to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. table tennis team after its tour of Communist China.
The bill failed to pass, cheating the Senate out of passing the Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill.

Humor pictures-A dirty mind

Short adult jokes-In common

Q. What's a virgin and a balloon have in common ?
A. All it takes is one prick and its all over!

Sports humor jokes-New Pit Crew

The Ferrari Formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ some people from Liverpool.
The decision to hire them followed a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high tech equipment.
Prime Minister George Brown went on record as saying that this was a bold move by the Ferrari management which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour.
As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari thought they had the advantage over every team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the first practice session, the Liverpool pit crew successfully changed the tyres in less than 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team for 2 crates of Stella, a kilo of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower.

Short humor jokes-Doctor's advice

Wife to husband : The doctor has adviced me to take bed rest for 1 month in a beautiful foreign country. Where we will go ?
Husband : We will go to a new doctor

Really funny jokes-Evils of Drug use

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday in front of the Judge.
The Judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court on Monday."
On Monday, the two guys were back in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, Your Honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful! What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, Your Honor. I drew two circles like this:
O o
..and told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable!" said the Judge.
To the second guy the judge said, "And you, how did you do?"
"Well, Your Honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"156 people! That's amazing!! How did you manage to do that?"
Well, I ! used a similar approach. I drew two circles.
o O
...and said (pointing to the small circle), "This is your asshole before prison....."

Humor pictures-Tell Mom

Short adult jokes-Female & male snowman

Q. What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?
A. Snowballs.

Humor Quotes

Some people get lost in thought because it is unfamiliar territory.

Animal jokes-Baby Turtle

A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.
About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.
Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mummy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"

Humor jokes-In the ear

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.
Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
"A what?" Mabel replied.
"A suppository, " said Ethel. "In your ear."
Mabel pulled out the item and stared at it for a moment. "I'm glad you saw this thing, Ethel," she said. "Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."

Short humor jokes-Laundromat

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
- Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Adult doctor jokes-Not so good in bed

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."

What's best seen naked.?

Short adult jokes-Different

Q. How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
A. The prostitute stops f**king you after you're dead.

Really funny jokes-Notice in the paper

When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."
"I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea," the widow replied. "I simply thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover instead of the big poop he really was."

Humor jokes-Anything

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.

Halloween jokes

Q: Why do witches think they're funny?
A: Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.

Q: Why can't boy ghosts make babies?
A: Because they have "hollow weenies"

Q: What's a monster's favourite song?
A: "Ghouls Just Want To Have Fun."

Funny pictures-"Screw my hippocratic oath!"

Humor jokes-Olive

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?"
"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

Humor in uniform-Wire brush

"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir!"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!"
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front lines, Sir!"
"Good man!" says the Major.
He goes to the next bed.
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir!"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!"
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front lines, Sir!"
"Good man!" says the Major.
He goes to the next bed.
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir!"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!"
"What's your ambition?"
"To get to the front of the line and get the wire brush before the other two - Sir!"

Short adult jokes-Eye contact

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.

Really funny jokes-Funeral

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.
Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa."

Stock Market humor

SIP - Suicide by Investing Patiently
Fund Manager - Last year's ace stock picker now locked up in an asylum
Investor - Someone who is broke
Broker - Worse off than an investor
Correction - The next day after you bought shares
Momentum buying - The fine art of buying high and selling low
Value buying - The art of buying low and selling even lower

Life-Out of millions

If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed...
Always remember that YOU
were once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions...

Good jokes-The Minister

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man: "Sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled: "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

Humor pictures-Drop the Beer!

Short adult jokes-Heart attack

Mary: "Did you hear that Janet's husband died?"
Donna: "Nooo! What happened?"
Mary: "He had a heart attack while they were screwing. He went straight from "Oh, God!" to "Hi, God!"

Humor jokes-First Aid

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid."
The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."

Doctor jokes-Rubber gloves

The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you."
"Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."

Short adult jokes-Who?

These 3 gay guys are sitting in a hot tub and a condom floats to the top. One of the gay guys says to the others “who farted?”

Good jokes-Alligators

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em all.".

Life-Beautiful thought

Humor jokes-In 3 Seconds

Wife hinting husband for a new car
Says : "Dear, buy me something that goes 0-100 in 3 seconds when i am on it"
He gifted her a weighing machine.

Really funny jokes-The Irishman's Wish

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these.

Short Adult jokes-Second

There's a scream from the bedroom. Santa runs in and there's a guy leaping out of the window.
His wife, Jeeto, says, "Whaa! That guy just screwed me twice!"
Santa says, "Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?"
Jeeto says, "Because I thought it was you...until he started for the second one."

Doctor jokes-In person

The old professor sat there waiting for his new doctor to make his way through the file that contained his very extensive medical history.
After he finished all seventeen pages, he looked at him and said, "You look better in person than you do on paper."

Funny pictures-Blow dry!

Humor jokes-Honking

The Dad was driving his five year old son to school and then suddenly by mistake his hand hit the horn.
The boy started looking curiously at the Dad hearing the sound.
So the embarrassed Dad explained, "I am sorry son I just hit the horn inadvertently. "
The boy started giggling, "I know that Dad, because otherwise you would yell 'ASSHOLE' after honking."

Good jokes-Smiles

When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy.
When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see who's the handsome dude behind him.
But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down to see if he's unzipped.

Adult funny jokes-Checking

One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.

Really funny jokes-The bad news

At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo your country house caretaker"
"Ah yes, Mr.Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died"
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition? "
"That's the one."
"Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well...what did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat."
"Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?"
"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."
"Dead horse? What dead horse Mr.Arnaldo?"
"Why, those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire."
"What the.....!!!But there’s electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for???"
"For the funeral."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!! !!!"
"Your mother's! She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her."

Celebrity pictures-Adriana Lima

Short humor jokes-Lawyer

"A lawyer is someone who writes an eighty-page document and calls it a brief!"

Sarcastic jokes-Crime

"Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!"

Short adult jokes-Upset

Mary: You look mad, Jill. Why are you so upset?
Jill: It's work! My boss gave the job I deserved to another woman! I'm better qualified and have been at the company longer!
Mary: Oh, that's a shame! What's the position?
Jill: Well, from what I understand, it's on her knees under his desk!

Humor jokes-Stranger

A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."

Doctor jokes-Play the Violin

"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"

Really funny jokes-Suicidal

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called the Help Hotline.
I was put through to a "call center" in Pakistan.
I explained that I was feeling suicidal.
They were very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane.

Funny pictures-Mirror, mirror, behind my back...

Short adult jokes-Better

Nina, a rather young miss attending St. Mary's Catholic Girls School, was sitting on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette.
The local priest walks by and gives her a glare. "Nina! Smoking at such a young age! Aren't you ashamed?"
"What?" said Nina. "You got something better to do after sex?"

Humor jokes-Fire Engine

Ricky, Jimmy, and Stewart were out riding their bikes one afternoon when a fire engine zoomed past with blaring sirens.
The three kids noticed a Dalmatian on the front seat of the fire engine.
Ricky commented, "They use that dog to keep the crowds back."
"No," said Jimmy, "he's just for good luck."
But Stewart knew better, "No, that's not it," he said. "The dog is there to give them directions to the nearest fire hydrant!"

Office Humor jokes - Casual Day

A Company decides to adopt Fridays as Casual Day and they issued a Memo to all department intimating the same.

Week 1
Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice.

Week 3
Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day.

Week 6
Memo 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude.

Week 8
Memo 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. A fashion show will follow. Attendance is mandatory.

Week 9
Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper casual-day dress.

Week 14
Memo 6: The Casual Day Task Force has distributed a 30-page manual entitled "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards." A copy has been distributed to every employee.

Week 18
Memo 7: Company is providing psychological counseling for employees who may be having difficulty adjusting to Casual Day.

Week 20
Memo 8: We are no longer able to effectively support or manage Casual Day. Casual Day is discontinued

Really funny jokes--Awesome Senior Moment

Here's a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a Metro station in DC.
There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one.
An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined.
The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, 'Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq ?'
The old woman looked up at her and said, 'Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea , and a son in Vietnam. All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it.'

Short humor jokes-Rescue

The worst airline disaster in Poland's history occurred today when a two-seater Cessna crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon. Rescue workers have so far uncovered 826 bodies and expect to find more as the digging continues.

Humor jokes- Last Rites

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around.
"A priest! Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps.
A policeman checks the crowd but finds no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind.
"A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again.
Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age.
"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man."
The policeman agrees and brings the octogenarian over to the dying man. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice:
"B - 4. I - 19. N - 38. G - 54. O - 72."

Good jokes-Old days

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together.
They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterday once more".
They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young.
The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.
Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: "Why didn't you come to our date?"
Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: "Mom didn't allow me to go..."

Celebrity pictures-Bedtime with Bundchen