Very Funny Jokes

very funny jokes Welcome to Very Funny Jokes blog-Your blog for Good jokes, Short funny jokes & Jokes on Life.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Really funny stuff-Similes and metaphors

Shredded Similes, Mutilated Metaphors

Given below is a list of actual similes and metaphors found by high school English teachers from across the country in their student's essays.

- Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances, like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

- He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

- She grew on him like she was a colony of e-coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

- He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

- The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

- McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

- From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

- Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

- The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.