Very Funny Jokes

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Saturday, December 01, 2012

Love defined

[1] man's grand delusion that one woman differs from another;
[2] a sea of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses;
[3] what Plato described as "a grave mental disease";
[4] something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the real eye opener;
[5] that emotion which is not true until returned;
[6] what we have in common with the residents of all third-world countries;
[7] is like measles -- much worse when it comes late in life;
[8] the most slippery word in the human language - used by knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most men to placate the female of the species;
[9] the only fire for which there is no insurance;
[10] an emotion, even if un-returned, has its rainbow;
[11] the crocodile in the river of desire;
[12] the only game that two can play and both win;
[13] the last and most serious of the childhood diseases;
[14] what makes marriage possible -- habit makes it last;
[15] is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise;
[16] a disease like measles, we all have to go through it;
[17] a temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred the disorder;
[18] the only game that is never called on account of darkness;
[19] the tie that blinds;
[20] consists of happiness, given back and forth;
[21] the only thing that has changed over the millions of years of playing this game is that trumps have changed from clubs to diamonds;
[22] that which makes the world revolve:
[23] is really just being stupid together;
[24] a situation which happens when you think almost as much of another as you do of yourself;
[25] is like a case of the measles -- all the worse when it comes later in life;
[26] is a fan club with only two members;
[27] the only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished;
[28] the triumph of imagination over intelligence;
[29] the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion;
[30] a strange feeling that comes over a man -- when he keeps wanting to call a girl by his last name;
[31] is like war -- simple to begin but the devil to stop;
[32] is like the action similar to an hourglass: the heart fills as the brain empties;
[33] something which creates a religion that worships two fallible gods;
[34] a word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle aged, and the mutual dependence of the old;
[35] a situation -- when it is true, does not mean gazing into each other's eyes, but looking outward together in the same direction life beckons;
[36] something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace;
[37] the balm that heals the wounds that words make.